Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize