After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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