white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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