It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
