Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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