I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
