my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
