You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
