Just fell off a train. Bad.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
