It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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