you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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