Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
