That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
