Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
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curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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