Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
