so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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