before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
