i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
