It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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