You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
