I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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