Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
