Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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