At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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