I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
