Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
