Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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