Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize