Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
