I like to think it a success when the cops are called
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
