I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
