Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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