dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
