So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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