my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
