girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize