I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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