you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
