check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
