grandma shit on top of the toilet
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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