I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
