I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
