3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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