I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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