my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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