wanna go halves on a baby?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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