Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
