Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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