Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
