i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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