You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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