I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
