Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
