thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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