I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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