Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
