farters have to be the big spoon...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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