So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if only i could text you this smell
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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