She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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