I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I woke up under a house in Key West
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
