you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
