i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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