i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
