I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Are my feet made of real feet?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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